Monday, March 19, 2012

Big Ben's Barracks: Ben wants the Steelers to trade for Tim Tebow

By GTOG Staff and Big Ben

After news broke this morning that Peyton Manning intends to sign with the Denver Broncos, Ben Roethlisberger began working feverishly to ensure the Steelers enter the inevitable Tim Tebow sweepstakes. GTOG obtained an exclusive transcript of Ben's conversation with his agent, Ryan Tollner. Let's listen in after the jump...

Ben: I want to lead Tim Tebow.  I need you to call Mr. Rooney and see if he can get Tim Tebow to Pittsburgh.

Agent: Really? To compete for your job?

Ben: He's a great Man.  I don't want to compete with him.  I want to lead him.

Agent: But isn't he also a Leader of Men?

Ben: He does lead Men. I've watched how he leads Men, and I'm impressed with his ability to lead Men.

Agent: Right, that's what I don't get?

Ben: I am the Leader of Men here in Pittsburgh, and I'd like him to follow me.

"I will be answering no more questions about Following Me."
Agent: I don't know about that, Ben.  He's a devoted Leader of Men.  What if there aren't enough
Men in Pittsburgh to be led?

Ben: Every Man needs a Leader, but not every Leader needs a Man.

Agent: I don't understand what that means.

Ben: Because you don't lead Men.

Agent: Can you two lead each other?

Ben: I can't be led. I lead.

Agent: But will he be able to lead and follow at the same time?

Ben: One of the hallmarks of a great Leader is that he knows when to follow a great Leader.

Agent: But you just said that Leaders don't follow.

Ben: I'm leading you right now.

"Follow me."
Agent: Ok. Look, I can call Mr. Rooney, but I don't think the Steelers will have interest.

Ben: Let me tell you a story. One time a Leader approached a Man and said, "Do you want to be led?"  The Man said he didn't know what it was to be led.  And the Leader said, "But you have just been led."

Agent: Wait, what?

Ben: I've just led you.

Agent: Led me where?

Ben: Here.

Agent: Wasn't I already here?

Ben: You were here, but you were not led here.  I led you here.

Agent: Right. So how will you lead Tebow?

Ben: Like I lead all my Men.

Agent: But he's not just any Man.

Ben: I'm not just any Leader.

Agent: What will your guys think?

Ben: My guys are my guys.

Agent: What position do you think he'll play?

Ben: That's up to God and B.A.

Agent: B.A. was fired.

Ben: Like the Bible and my civil litigation, B.A. is eternal.

Agent: Ben, I think you lost me.

Ben: Shh. Follow me.

Too many Leaders, not enough Men.

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