Friday, December 23, 2011

Top 10 All-Time Pittsburgh Penguins Fashion Statements

By Artistry

The holiday season is a time for family, alcohol, and lists.  With the first two adequately covered, we bring you the first of maybe some more lists this holiday season.

When it comes to making fashion statements, Pittsburgh is known for blondes with big hair, chewing gum, and Steelers' jammer pants.  But it's also about hockey players who make some, shall we say, interesting wardrobial decisions.  Here are the top 10 all-time Pittsburgh Penguin fashion statements.

10. Dan Bylsma's Winter Classic fedora

This old-school, Landry-esque number says elegance and it says confidence, all with a touch of sass.  The young coach's bold take on outdoor hockey supervision paved the way for the eventual unveiling of Bylsma's fashion master-stroke, the Byl-stache.

It's also clearly an homage to its coaching-hat forefather, the Pierre Creamer beret.

9. Evgeni Malkin's Wild and Crazy Guy Get Down Boogie Oogie Oogie 'Til You Just Can't Boogie No More Spectacular

When Geno enters a room full of foxes, it's game over.

8.  Jaromir Jagr's white sock, brown shoe, "Maybe if I pull these tight jeans up extremely high and tuck in my t-shirt it will take your mind off my supersonic mullet" ensemble.

 See the Top 7 Pittsburgh Penguins Fashion Statements of all time, after the jump...

7. Eric Godard's red suit

No game day suit is more memorable. No other player could inspire the fear necessary to prevent everyone he encountered from openly mocking him.

6.  Max Talbot's Christmas sweater

Do you remember when Max Talbot starred in HBO's 24/7 before it seemed like he was trying way too hard to star in HBO's 24/7, Season 2?

 Brent Johnson wanted so badly to grab the spotlight, the poor guy.

5. Mario Lemieux's Quintessential Ownership Pose

Lemieux has never been as dominant as when he launched a 300-yard drive without bothering to put down his cigar.

4. Mike Lange's champagne blazer over black t-shirt

Smooth, fierce, yet sensual, the Sonny Crockett of play-by-play just got in the fast lane, grandma, and the bingo game is ready to roll.  This is the kind of combination you save for the Stanley Cup parade.

3. Robbie Brown's "I could easily be naked right now" look

We looked for Brownie's "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" outfit, but couldn't track it down.  For the benefit of any fans who may not have been around for the Downtown Robbie Brown era, he generally exuded an "I care so little about my appearance that Alyssa Milano has to date me" aura.

2. Snoop Dogg
 Snoooop. Snoop a loop.

1.  Mario Lemieux's 1991 interview glasses

How many pairs of his regular glasses did he have to lose before he was stuck with these as his only alternative?  And what producer decided that Mario's skin, Mario's shirt, and the background should all be the same color?  Coming off his first Stanley Cup championship, we don't know why he chose to wear these frames; all that matters is that he wore them, and someone took this screenshot.

1991. Oh my heavens.

Happy Holidays.

1 comment:

  1. Downtown Robbie Brown looks like Beatlejuice big time.