Monday, November 7, 2011

Get to Our Press Conference: Steelers Congratulate Flacco on Early Hall-of-Fame Induction

By GTOG Staff

Welcome, everyone. We'd like to thank the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Baltimore Ravens for making coaches and players available on such short notice to discuss the Ravens' 23-20 luxurious stay on Gay Island victory.  Let's get right to it.

Artistry: This is for Coach Tomlin. Coach, there was some questionable clock management and general confusion on the Steelers' final possession with about 4 minutes to play in the game. Can you comment on that and how you felt knowing Joe Flacco was getting the ball with more than two minutes on the clock?

Andy Reid: Mike, I'll step in on this one if that's ok....

Mike Tomlin:  ...No Andy, I got this.  Let me just say directly that I felt ecstatic putting the ball in Flacco's hands with the game on the line.  I would compare it to being high on nitrous oxide.  Joe Flacco is a man who generally excels in no phases of the game of football, and we as a coaching staff had great confidence that he would find a way not to matriculate the ball down the field.  That said, I had no idea what I was doing on that 4th down delay of game call.  Having an additional three points on the board was desirable at that stage of the football game, but seeing as Shaun Suisham appears to be the only kicker in the National Football League who can't get a kickoff to the endzone, I had no real confidence he could kick a 47-yard-field goal.  So I chose to remain paralyzed by indecision.

"Yeah, I don't know either."
We hear from Ben Roethlisberger, Ray Lewis, and more after the jump...


Finesse:  This is a general question for the Steelers.  If you could point to a single reason for the absolutely stunning choke by the "top-ranked pass defense" in the NFL, what would it be?

James Harrison:  William Gay.


Troy Polamulu:  We don't throw people under the bus here, but William Gay.

Anquan Boldin:  I need to just interject here for a moment and say a couple of words:  William Gay.  In case you hadn't noticed, I was fortunate enough to be covered almost exclusively on that game-winning drive by William Gay.  First, I caught a 21-yard-pass to get us out of that hole on the 8-yard-line.  Then I caught that 4th down pass at mid-field to keep us alive.  Later, I was disappointed to see that I was no longer being covered by William Gay, but then I realized, Torrey Smith is being covered by William Gay!


Torrey Smith:  What a blessing.  Generally, I can't catch, but once I got to Gay Island, I felt much better.

William Gay:  To my credit, I took the blame after the game for my performance.  I completely spoiled an epic 3-sack comeback performance by James Harrison.  My bad.

Mike Tomlin:  James, no!  Do not fire on William Gay!  Holster your weapon!


Stan Savran:  Let's try to reel this back in a bit.  This one is for Ben.  Are the Ravens simply the better team right now?

Ben Roethlisberger:  Stan, I appreciate your calming influence.  One of my favorite things about these men, my teammates, is that we so often look overmatched by quality opponents.  When you combine that with an incomrehensibly bad decision on my part to try to throw a bubble screen through the enormous arms of Terrell Suggs, it creates the optimal scenario for a patented Big Ben comeback.  In today's NFL, it doesn't so much matter if you are deficient...

Mike Tomlin:  In all 3 phases of the football game.

Ben Roethlisberger:  ...Right, thanks Coach.  It doesn't matter if you are deficient in all three phases if you have John Elway 2.0.  Praise be to the offensive line, that's exactly what I am.  It's just that Sunday we left too much time on the clock.  So to answer your question, of course they have a better team in Baltimore.  But we have me.

Stan Savran:  Quick follow up: really bad play by you on the Suggs pick.

Mark Madden:  Speeking uv Suggs, wut a game by my boy Max Starks.  Ask any stripper in tahn, Max is a swthrt.  So heers the kwest-yun.  Why cut Max in the furst place?

Kevin Colbert:  I'll take this one.  Max was fat, so we cut him.  Now I know this opens the organization up to second-guessing and accusations of some kind of a double standard on fat people.  Casey Hampton does appear close to needing a motorized scooter to get to the huddle.  But I would like to say that this was all a motivational ploy to get Max playing at an elite Suggs-nullifying level.  That's what I would like to say.

Ron Cook:  Lamarr Woodley?  I think he might have made a difference.  I mean, really.  I think he might have made a difference, remember?

[Silence in the room.]

Referee Walt Coleman:  Did officiating play any role at all in this loss?  I for one had no clue what was going on out there.  I didn't even realize that last play was a touchdown.  Where am I?  Who are you? 

Antonio Brown:  Come on, now.  The bad officiating went both ways.  I will say that Ray Lewis better be fined for going helmet to helmet on Hines, because that was clear as day.  If Hines goes out like this against Baltimore, that is a sad thing, because he exemplifies this rivalry.  You know what?  I'm dedicating every game against the Ravens from here on out to Hines, and I am going to smoke those fools.  They cannot cover me.

Ryan Clark: Did someone say helmet-to-helmet?


Finesse: This question is for Mr. Sepulveda.  Daniel, can you tell us how it feels to be one more ACL injury away from tying Aaron Smith for the Steelers' team record for most consecutive seasons with season-ending injuries while still being adored by the fan base?

Daniel Sepulveda: Wow, I mean, just to be mentioned in the same breath as a guy like Aaron Smith is a real honor.  He's a true pioneer of the season ending injury and without him, I don't know where I'd be.  Most likely, I'd be punting.

Artistry:  We still haven't heard from the man of the hour, Joe Flacco.  Joe Cool, how did you handle things in the huddle when you're backed up at the 8-year-line with all that pressure and your legacy on the line?

Ray Lewis:  I'LL ANSWER THAT!  HE TOOK CONTROL, BABY!  THE STEELERS ARE THE SAME TEAM WE WHUPPED IN SEPTEMBER!  THEY'RE THE SAME TEAM!  WHAT YOU GOT TO SAY ABOUT HIS UNIBROW NOW, HUH?  WOOOOO!  HUH?

"Any idea when Sid is coming back?"

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