Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Big Ben Has Broken Thumb, Because Why Wouldn't He?

By Finesse

Completely un-shocking news out of Steelers headquarters today, as it was revealed that Ben Roethlisberger has a fractured right thumb.  He sustained the injury at some point during the game against Cincinnati, but reminded reporters that he doesn't even remember when it happened and that he didn't miss any snaps.  The early word is that he will be ready to go against Kansas City in two weeks and this injury will not affect his play.  In other words, he will clutch and shake his hand vigorously after completions and incompletions alike.

Reached for faux-comment at his home today by GTOG, Ben elaborated on his injury:
There's no question that my thumb hurts.  It's just going to be about trusting B.A., Tone, and all my guys.  It's no excuse though.  I played a game in 2005 with a bad thumb and threw 4 touchdowns.  The docs didn't think I should play, but I stood up in the locker room and said, "My Name is Biggius Bennius Roethlisbergerus, commander of the Band of Brothers, General of My Guys, loyal servant to the true emperor, Mr. Rooney. Father to kids I probably don't know, husband to an unlucky woman.  And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.  Band of Brothers."


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