Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Fictional Steve On The Defensive

By Finesse, with Artistry's Blessing from the Maternity Ward

[Read our Finale recap here and listen to the Raw Emotion Podcast here]

Fictional Steve (www.realitysteve.com) is at it again.  He's bathing in self-adulation today over the fact that he had all of the spoilers correct for this season on The Bachelorette.

Taunts the dog because the dog thought Ben would win.
This is today's F-you to all the "haters" out there:
So I’m curious how many people are still doubting what I told them was going to happen back on June 1st? Funny, after Ali and Roberto’s season, people were saying that I’d never get another spoiler again from this show and that was the end of me. Might’ve been the stupidest thing I’ve ever read. Especially considering ever since that season, you have known what was going to happen going into every episode of “Bachelor Pad 1″, Brad’s season, Ashley’s season, and now “Bachelor Pad” 2″ by coming to this site. Sorry, but I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. I will continue to talk about and spoil the show, and haters will continue to talk about me. That’s the way it works, and I’d have it no other way, so keep it comin’.
Fictional Steve, you're so gangster.  Excuse me, gangsta.

Here's the bottom line with this guy.  He's a fraud.  His posts are all 6 pages long and it's a Where's Waldo exercise to find something entertaining in there.  He might have 20 times more readers than we do (kidding, it's more like 100), but that doesn't mean he's better, or even any good.  After all, Curtis Martin retired with five times more rush yards than Bo Jackson, but the two aren't even comparable.  Bo knows football.  GTOG knows the Bachelor.

Fictional Steve gets off (perhaps literally) on the fact that he "spoils" the ending of the Bachelor for people.  OH MY GOD STEVE! CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE A FRIEND WHO HAS A FRIEND WHO WORKS ON THE BACHELOR AND HE TELLS YOU EVERYTHING THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN! OMG WE R SOOOOOOO JEAL!! LOL!  He then gets hyper-sensitive when he screws up and gets a "spoiler" wrong, which we're told is more often than he leads on.

Indulge GTOG for a moment as we assign appropriate levels of blame for Fictional Steve reaching such lofty heights in the cutthroat Bachelor-recapping business.

- 64% blame goes to Fictional Steve.  Although he is supremely untalented, he does have a very successful show-ruin-er blog.  The problem is that while he purports to be lampooning the show, he is actually taking it incredible seriously.  This is his life.  This is his raison d'etre.  It's what drives him and what motivates him.  We suspect that he hibernated for weeks after he screwed up the Ali and Roberto pick.

[Side note: Fictional, how do you screw that one up?  Seriously, that was the easiest one ever.  We don't even have acquaintances who feed us unedited footage of the show and we still saw the writing on the wall.  And we knew it even before the baseball uniform.]

Our crystal ball.
- 30% blame goes to people who read it.  I'd love to hear one good reason why people read his site.  So you can know who wins?  Boy, is that joyous!  What is fun about knowing who wins on a reality show before it happens? Hey everyone, I know who wins Celebrity Apprentice this year, and it hasn't even aired yet! Who wants to date me?!?!

6% blame to us.  GTOG is humble.  GTOG appreciates what we have.  Every reader is precious.  But maybe we haven't done a good enough job of explaining to the world why they should be reading our site, and not his.  How much of this is on us?  We have to start by looking in the mirror, and we might not like what we see.

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