Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Jerry Meals Tapped as New Secretary of Department of Homeland Security

By Artistry

Busy morning. Word is someone may have blown a call last night.

- What a terrible, terrible break for the Pirates. Losing in 19 innings to the Braves on a brutal call the worst call ever and dropping even a half game at the top of the airtight NL Central standings is every bit as frustrating as people are making it out to be.  But take a step back.  The Pirates didn't score for the last 17 of those innings.  They'll pick up a bat at the deadline, but it won't be Barry Bonds circa 2001, and if we're being honest with ourselves, that's about what it would take to make these Bucs even close to a legitimate threat to win a championship.  It also wouldn't make any sense to swing a major deal.  We're building something here.  Piece by piece.  It's like I tell my two-year-old when he tries to stuff an entire slice of pizza that's as big as his head into his tiny mouth:  " Be patient. It's not going anywhere. And there's more coming."

Not my kid. But I would probably cut that up for him.
- No idea how the reported 4-year Ike Taylor deal will look for the Steelers in 2014, and we don't know the dollar figures, but it's hard to imagine how they could have let him walk.  Not with receivers around the NFL lining up to buy a ticket to Gay Island.

- The next order of business for the Steelers is rumored to be offensive lineman Willie Colon.  But rumors are dangerous.  GTOG briefly posted an item on Tuesday based on a Dejan Kovacevic retweet of some other dude at the Trib who speculated that Scott Brown was reporting that Ben Roethlisberger was already lamenting the loss of one of "my guys" or, as it's known at GTOG, the "Colon cleansing."  Then the tweet disappeared.  We have no clue what's going on.  Willie could be at Tessaro's with Dan Rooney and Mike Tomlin celebrating a new contract extension with the Steelers. Or he could be with Ken Wisenhunt in Arizona because that's where ex-Steelers go to be ex-Steelers before they come back to be Steelers again the next season.  Here's what we do know:

1) People that watch offensive linemen say Colon is one of the best there is. We don't watch offensive linemen.  Unless they're Doug Legursky.

2) Willie didn't play last season. He played the season before, and the o-line was terrible. And he was Ben's wing man that one time in Georgia. Band of Brothers, indeed.

"Honestly? You're Not That Great of a Wing man."
- Brett Keisel also appears to be terrified of James Harrison. "I'm sure James would never say what he said.  Sometimes what James says gets misinterpreted as something that was said," said Keisel.

- The Jets reportedly signed former Steelers receiver Santonio Holmes to a 5 year, $50 million contract that gives Holmes the most guaranteed money of any wide receiver.  Ever.  Holmes is really good receiver, and an exceptional player in the biggest moments.  But you're going to guarantee $24 million to a guy that couldn't even stick with a team that tolerates, say it with me, a potentially homophobic rage-a-holic linebacker, a possibly reformed but still largely insufferable alleged sexual predator but now very publicly married QB, an alleged drunk driver, and a Bin Laden apologist?  Hey, it's your money.

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