Friday, July 29, 2011

ESPN's NFL Free Agent FRENZY Reaches a BOILING POINT

By Artistry

A routine 6 pm SportsCenter suddenly exploded Friday as Adam Schefter appeared with his Blackberry to report this breaking news:

Schefter: "I'm hearing from several people this afternoon that the New York Jets are out of the running for Nnamdi Asomugha. The Dallas Cowboys are out of the running for Nnamdi Asomugha. And the mystery team absolutely out of nowhere? [Checking blackberry] The Philadelphia Eagles.  To emphasize, three different people are telling me right now that the team is the Philadelphia Eagles.  That's right.  This is what the Philadelphia Eagles do.  They are just so secretive.  Now, out of nowhere, again, I want to emphasize that this is what sources are telling me, here come the Philadelphia Eagles.  What's really amazing about this is until today, all my sources were saying Nnamdi Asomugha, New York Jets.  That's what I've been breathlessly reporting now for days.  But now they're saying Nnamdi Asomugha, Philadelphia Eagles."

Random anchor: "Wow."

Schefter:  But here's what's even more amazing. Last summer we had LeBron and the "Decision." Who would have ever thought we'd have another decision, in the NFL, with even more drama.  I want to emphasize again right now, Nnamdi Asomugha, the Philadelphia Eagles."


"You heard me. Nnamdi Asomugha."
Random anchor: "Wow. Philadelphia? I never ever ever would have guessed Philadelphia. How?"

Schefter:  "The Philadelphia Eagles were the mystery team. They are just so secretive. I want to emphasize that this is what sources are telling me.  Nnamdi Asomugha.  Here we have confirmation. Yes. Nnamdi Asomugha. The Philadelphia Eagles. 5 years, $60 million."

Random anchor: "Not quite the mega-deal we were expecting. [Pregnant pause]. Correct me if I'm wrong."

Schefter: "Um. Well, uh, Darrell Revis makes $11.5 million a year. This contract pays $12 million a year.  So."

Random anchor: "What did the New York Jets NOT do to make this happen."

Schefter:  "The New York Jets have a certain amount of money available under the cap.  Another team has a bit more money available.  The Philadelphia Eagles.  They offered that money to Nnamdi Asomugha.  And this afternoon, my sources told me, you know what?  Nnamdi Asomugha is taking that  money.  Who could have seen THAT coming. The Philadelphia Eagles.  Just incredible.  [Checking blackberry].  Nnamdi Asomugha."


This is SportsCenter.

2 comments:

  1. People need to appreciate what you're doing with these posts. Mrs. A is primed to birth your second child and there you are as focused and determined as ever. This weekend could be huge for you from a personal level. Arguably the biggest weekend you've had in 2 years. Pumping out posts like you did today would be like someone on Seal Team 6 recording a Raw Emotion podcast in the helicopter on the way into Pakistan.

    What a performance. This kid is going to be special.

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  2. Thank you. You are too kind. But this isn't about me. It's about the mission.

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