Monday, June 6, 2011

Big Ben Resists Granny's Cough Medicine, is a Changed Man

By Finesse

I don't know about you, but I get all of my repentance updates from LaVar Arrington.  Today he took to the Washington Post to describe his encounter with Ben Roethlisberger at Jim Kelly's golf tournament in Buffalo.  Arrington describes how, based on his previous interactions with Big Ben, he went into this meeting assuming that Roethlisberger would be "pretty arrogant."  Instead, Arrington left the party feeling that Ben's conduct was "so impressive" that it was clear to Arrington that Ben had learned a "hard lesson."  Apparently, Arrington's feelings changed in between rounds of "Granny's cough medicine."

Sharing Sue's recipe.
We don't doubt Arrington's judgment, although his refusal to have a baby with Serena Williams when they were dating has deprived Earth of the most freakishly athletic child of all time (that kid could have run the 100 meters in under 9 seconds while carrying Usain Bolt).  But his post leaves us with a few unanswered questions, such as:
  • Why were "men and women ... falling all over [Roethlisberger] for his attention"?  Who are these people, and what do they want with Ben's attention?  One has to assume these are the same women who become pen-pals with convicted felons and then marry them in prison.
  • What is Granny's Cough Medicine and where can I get some?
  • When Arrington said, "I clearly saw how he could find himself in a sticky wicket of a situation," was he trying to make a joke or just teeing one up for someone else? At GTOG, we don't eat low-hanging fruit.
Thankfully, Arrington isn't the only newsperson with sources in Buffalo.  GTOG had a reporter on the scene at this party and he overheard the following exchange:
Man: "Big Ben! Big Ben! Big fan here!"
Ben: "God is great.  Offensive line.  Band of brothers."
Woman: "Ew."
Ben: "God is great.  Offensive line.  Band of brothers."
No doubt, he's turned a corner... long as he wasn't wearing this.

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