Friday, May 20, 2011

Today in Ron Cook Poetry: Ron Cook's Masterpiece

By Artistry

The four-word email from Finesse came this morning as I was sitting in traffic: "Unreal Cook this AM."  I immediately pulled up today's column on NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, read it in about 20 seconds, because that's how long it takes, and issued a quick response:  "Oh my God."  For the uninitiated, GTOG has a long history of documenting Ron Cook's work.  The Post Gazette columnist has asked a lot of rhetorical questions over the years, and he's answered those questions with a lot of one word responses, then he's asked the questions again to make sure you, and he, got it the first time, thereby covering a lot of column inches by essentially talking to himself.  And, because it seemed the obvious thing to do, we've turned his columns into poetry.  But today?  Today, Cook took things to another level.  It's like he's been reading the blog and just decided, listen, you haven't seen anything yet.  Let me repeat: anything yet.  I mean, really.  Here's Today in Ron Cook Poetry.

The lockout of their players?
The fight over more than $9 billion in annual revenues?
The threat of no professional football in the fall?
It's all for you.
Sure, they will.
Does Goodell really think the fans are idiots?
Listen, I have nothing against greed.
I don't think anyone does.
It's the American way, right?
We'd all take more if we could get it.
I mean, are we stupid?
But couldn't Goodell at least be honest about it?
I wish somebody had.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
What the heck?
Let me repeat: Please.
Again, are you with me?
What the heck?
Now tell me the truth.
Aren't you glad the owners have your back?

I Mean, What the Heck?

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