Saturday, December 11, 2010

Totally Oilers and Totally 80's

By Artistry

Early Saturday morning, I was laying in bed watching highlights on the NHL Network, wearing the sweet headphones Mrs. Artistry bought me so I can watch early morning NHL highlights without disturbing her. This easily falls into the category of keeping the romance alive, as far as I'm concerned.  I love all of the highlights on NHL Network, I love the way they just let them roll, no commentary, with natural sound and the play-by-play announcer calls up.  But all highlights are not created equal.  I sit up a little more in bed for the Edmonton Oilers.  We wrote in our NHL preview about how impressed we are with all the young talent the Oilers have put together:  Taylor Hall, Jordan Eberle, Magnus Pajaarvi, Sam Gagner, and the list keeps going.  All young kids coming up together. Just a ton of youth, speed, and skill. And on Friday, yet another Oiler rookie made his debut.  In his first NHL game, Edmonton put Linus Omark out third in the shootout.

Not bad, right?  You may recognize Omark's name.  Probably because you remember this.

Steve Stamkos and the Lightning were reportedly angry at Omark for being awesome.  Please.  I'm just upset we don't get to see him more often.  We're used to watching elite young forwards in Pittsburgh, but in Edmonton we're talking about a virtual herd of gazelle between the ages of 19 and 23.  Not that this crew will necessarily mature into multiple Cup winners, but watching them got me thinking about the early 80's, when Wayne Gretzky, Mark Messier, Glen Anderson, and Jari Kurri, Paul Coffey, and others all burst onto the scene at the same time.  And so during commercials, I flipped to VH1 and caught a caught a couple of music videos on "Totally 80's."  If you want to learn why sometimes it's best to bury the past, read on after the jump...

I tend to glorify the 1980's.  It's when I grew up.  It's when I fell in love with the Penguins and sports in general.  And I tend to love the music and get a huge kick out of the early attempts at music videos.  But there are certain relics of the 80's that should remain there, never to be revisited.  I'm talking about you, music video for the Commodores' hit "You Bring Me Up."  This is what I watched this morning between highlights, and I couldn't look away.  Who greenlit this thing?  Really, who saw this and said, "We need to get this on MTV, stat?"

Who was in charge of "choreography?" Has Nicole Ritchie seen this video?  Sweet Jesus.  Now, I am not ashamed to admit that my viewing of VH1's Totally 80's did not stop this morning with Lionel Ritchie's afro and knee-high socks.  If only that were the case.  It continued, and it got worse.  Much, much worse.  I came back for the video for Billy Ocean's "Loverboy."  All I can tell you is I was praying Mrs. Artistry wouldn't wake up in the middle of this complete abomination.

I'm not sure where we go from here.  But Billy, you had me at the alien on the horse.  You had me at the alien on the horse.

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