Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Breaking News!!!!!!!

By Finesse

At 10:30 this morning, I took a screen shot of the right hand side of ESPN.com.  It's boring enough to make me pine for the Verizon Wireless intermission report.  Aside from the tragic story about the Southern Miss football player, look at what we're working with today:



Is there any story on here that you would consider reading?  If so, I'll save you the time and summarize as follows:

  1. UConn women's basketball team beats everyone.
  2. There was a baseball trade between two of the least interesting teams in the league involving one of the least interesting players in the league.  And one of them may get a new catcher.  Keep in mind that baseball season doesn't start for another 4 and a half months.
  3. A college football star is under investigation for taking money.  In other breaking news, defense wins championships.
  4. Some parent is complaining that his kid was tackled in Cleveland.  The real headline should be why a parent would take a kid to Cleveland.
  5. Nothing sells internet advertising like a story about the will-be 21-61 Wizards beating the will-be 20-62 Toronto Raptors in a November NBA game with an "announced" crowd of 11,500.
  6. Roy Halladay wins the Cy Young award.  Snore.
  7. Gonzaga basketball loses, and Digger Phelps "analyzes" the loss by discussing the San Diego State team as follows: "You talk about [name of center/power forward] on the inside.  You look at [name of small forward] on the wing.  You look at [name of point guard] running the point.  You have [name of coach] as coach.  You talk about getting it done and you look and they got it done."
  8. I'm bored of even writing this now.
  9. John Daly is less fat than he was before.
  10. If you get ESPN Insider to read about baseball rumors in late November, you have a serious problem.
I hear they are announcing the AL Cy Young winner later today.  Or maybe it's tomorrow.  Whatever.  Bookmark us because God forbid you miss that breaking news.

2 comments:

  1. Definitely no room for a hockey headline in there. Too much interesting stuff going on this morning.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Carcillo's three week injury and Ponikoravsky getting placed on the IR could make that list.

    ReplyDelete