Sunday, September 12, 2010

Today in Ron Cook Poetry: 12 Questions

By Finesse

Kanye West once pointed out that you have a dyslexic girlfriend whose favorite 50 cent song is "12 Questions."  Would you believe he was talking about Ron Cook?  Cook somehow convinced editors at the PG  to let him go to Tuscaloosa to watch the predictable beatdown of Penn State by Alabama (you wonder why newspapers are going out of business).  He took full advantage of this opportunity, apparently practicing the centuries-old tradition that a sportswriter covering a game is supposed to unleash as many semi-rhetorical questions that convey neither relevant information nor opinion as possible.  And with that, here's today's "questions-only" RCP: 

12 Questions

Shredded for 409 yards?
Dozens and dozens of missed tackles?
Completely outclassed?
Are you kidding?
Really, if it continues to play like it did Saturday night, who is going to beat it? 
Who saw that coming?
Five receivers in the empty-set spread offense?
Power football?
A little wildcat action?
Mark Who?
You think Alabama coach Nick Saban loves him as a quarterback?
Would you believe 16-0 as the Alabama starter and 16-0 as a high school senior in Southlake, Texas?

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