Friday, September 10, 2010

Ron Cook's Prediction, By Ron Cook, Based on Finesse's Post

By Artistry

Today's PPG offers a special NFL season preview, including a column entitled "Ron Cook's Prediction," which is followed by a picture of Ron Cook and, in case there is any confusion, a caption under the picture that says "Ron Cook" and a tag at the bottom identifying the author as... wait for it.  Wait for it.  Ron Cook. 

Ron Cook.  Seriously, Ron Cook.
As the set-up for his much anticipated prediction, He-Who-Is-Repeatedly-Named offers the following insight:
Peter King of Sports Illustrated predicted last week that the Steelers will win Super Bowl XLV in February. He has them beating the Green Bay Packers, 33-26.
Should I mention here that King hasn't been right with a Super Bowl prediction since -- when -- 1995?

Sure you should, Ron Cook.  Just so long as you acknowledge that Finesse first made that very observation back on September 1.  Ron Cook, are you reading our blog again?  Ron Cook's Prediction is poetry, after the jump...

Ron Cook hates to break the news to us, but he doesn't think we should have high expectations for the Steelers this season.  We agree.  Here is "Today in Ron Cook Poetry."

Sorry.  [No need to apologize, Ron Cook.  GTOG is flattered by your readership.]
I don't think they can do it.
Too many questions at quarterback in the first four games.
Too much uncertainty at right tackle and right cornerback. 
Too little depth at wide receiver and running back.
No, that's too negative.
A confession:
I'm no better than King.  [Don't be so hard on yourself, Ron Cook.]
The Cleveland Browns are ...
Really, how can I predict a winning record?
Not much.
When does everything go right?
Hardly ever, I know.
Reality hurts.
7-9 it is.

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