Never have I felt such solidarity with the unfortunate sports fans of Cleveland. At best, I've felt mild disgust mixed with a dash of pity. I mean, look at them.
But today is different. Today, Lebron James is doing a one-hour prime-time special television presentation, orchestrated by his team of advisers, reportedly to announce that he will crush the hearts of Clevelanders and leave the Cavaliers to play for the Miami Heat.
What must this be like for those poor people? Lebron is 25, the best player in the game, just entering his prime, and by far the most beloved sports figure in the city's history. This is sort of what it would have been like if Mario Lemieux had given up on Pittsburgh after the 1989-90 season, except, stay with me now, exponentially worse. First, Lebron is from Akron. He is essentially turning his back on his home town. Second, Cleveland never wins anything. No prior Super Bowls, Stanley Cup parades, or remotely recent World Series titles to fall back on. Now this
If this is the way it goes down, GTOG feels terrible for Cleveland. Even the Browns fans. Pittsburghers stand with you today.