Monday, July 26, 2010

No Bachelorette for Finesse; Mrs. Artistry Shell-shocked by 20/20

Finesse (pre-show):  This weekend as I was wading through 108 degree temperatures, a 7-year-old child tugged on my shirt and said, "Finesse, why haven't you done a live Bachelorette blog recently?"  Adhering strictly to my policy of talking to children and dogs like adults, I replied, "Well, it's a matter of resource allocation.  First, I'm employed.  Second, the Bachelorette, by any objective measure, is a dreadful show.  Third, if it was between being on the phone with a Comcast customer service representative or watching Roberto contemplatively toss a baseball while in his Savannah Sand Gnats Class-A baseball uniform, I'd go with Comcast."  Slightly shaken, the boy replied, "Finesse, watching the Bachelorette is a journey.  And it's a journey that your legions of loyal GTOG fans want to take with you."  As he cried tears saltier than Mike Green's after a Capitals' playoff loss, I thought about the aforementioned legions and GTOG's responsibility to provide the content that you people demand.  Unfortunately, however, tonight Ali is confronted by all of her fake ex-boyfriends and I couldn't even get through the entire preview.  So, you'll have to wait until next week's epic finale recap.  But don't worry, we have some good stuff in the works.  GTOG.

Artistry (post-show):  20/20 is doing a post-Bachelorette investigative special, "Behind the Rose."  Taking us behind the scenes of the Bachelorette and the Bachelor, with some of the highlights so far including some woman who had a panic attack during the rose ceremony, another lady who took off her underwear and gave it to the Bachelor, and Wes, the country singer who came on the Bachelorette last year just to get famous and sell records, explaining that he has no regrets. "Some say love, it don't come eeeeasaay."  What exactly happened to 20/20?  Mrs. Artistry is sitting on the couch muttering to herself, "This is amazing. This is unbelievable."

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