Monday, June 28, 2010

Net Mouth Scramble

By Artistry
  • Sometimes when I'm on the treadmill, I watch the Bachelorette.  Other times, when my wife is watching it, I'll glance over a time or two.  (Again, there is a reason why we do this anonymously.)  Tonight it was revealed that Justin, the villainous professional wrestler guy who made it all the way to the Top 6, has a girlfriend.  The Bachelorette was stunned.  "He told me he was here for the right reasons!" she cried.  "He told me so, so many times."  First of all, everybody says they're there for the right reasons.  They all say it so, so many times.  So, so many times, in fact, that I pretend I'm playing a drinking game when I watch the show and do a fake shot when somebody says "right reasons," "wrong reasons," or that they're on a "journey."  I just can't do real shots on week nights any more.  Finesse can attest to this fact.  Anyway, the Bachelorette sent Justin packing.  Waived like Jonathan Cheechoo.
    • Finesse Follow Up: I don't watch The Bachelorette, but I have watched The Bachelorette and although I did not watch last night's episode, I have heard reports on it.  The only comment I can make about this Wrestler-Girlfriend situation is to wonder about this girlfriend.  Who is she?  How is she ok with him going on the Bachelorette?  Did she even know?  If she didn't know, was it awkward when she first sat down to watch it and he was on it?  I can't imagine any girlfriend who would be ok with "Honey, I'm going on the Bachelorette for 8 weeks, I'll email as much as I can."  Also, I'm going to go with 0% as the chances that this wrestler is still with said girlfriend.  Just a hunch.  
      • This guy played The Bachelorette Drinking Game but instead of Artistry's rules, he simply had a sip of beer every time The Bachelorette anguished over the difficulty of having to decide which fake-tanned fake-boyfriend she had to send home despite having an incredible "spontaneous" date that included a pre-reserved luxury helicopter tour of the Pacific coast and climbing on the Hollywood sign at dusk.
  • How do you go from being a 56-goal guy to being cast off by Ottawa, a team which at last check was not blessed with a surplus of scoring wingers?  Well, for starters, by scoring 51 fewer goals last season than you did in your career year with San Jose in 2005-2006.  Cheechoo has one year left on his contract at $3.5 million dollars, which is a brutal number given his recent output.  But if he goes unclaimed and the Sens buy out his contract, maybe he signs for a low cap figure with a team that gives him the best chance to resurrect his career.  Ahem.
More on the Flyers, Willie Colon, and the World Cup after the jump.

  • It seems the Flyers have identified a need at the position known by many teams in the National Hockey League as the "goaltender" position.  This realization must have come to Paul Holmgren in a dream.  He has now apparently secured the negotiating rights to Evgeni Nabakov, who is a pretty decent "goaltender." Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants salary cap gymnastics Holmgren will have to engage in if he manages to sign Nabakov to another one those bloated deals that Philadelphia does so well.
  • Willie Colon, done for the season?  If I said to you that my first thought when I heard this was that Ben will probably get hit more, and that I don't particularly care about Ben getting hit more, would that be bad?  
  • As I'm confident Ben would tell us while referring to Ben in the third person, Ben still has some work to do get many fans invested in Ben again.  Also, sorry Willie you got hurt. Huge loss.
  • Between the disallowed goals that clearly should not have been disallowed in the midst of 90 minute snoozefests that only feature about 8 legitimate scoring chances in total, the players who roll around on the grass like they've been shot even though it turns out they only have a slightly bruised nipple, and the fans who continuously blow an annoying horn or kazoo-like instrument throughout regulation and into "extra" time (of undetermined length), I think I have to go ahead and say I'm not a fan of World Cup soccer.  I just can't get on board.  
  • About 60 hours until the start of NHL free agency.  LGP.

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